


Varying Accounts of What Happened

by littlesolo



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-03-09 10:19:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 16,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3246005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlesolo/pseuds/littlesolo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No matter who you ask or how many you ask, the details of what happened never are really clear.  But nothing really is when it comes to Maria and Natasha.  </p><p>Black Hill Prompts</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gambit

Coulson's gambit worked. He's never seen the Avengers fight so ferociously before and they won. But now he has to tell them Maria isn't actually dead, or does he have to? She's still in a coma, he has time.

The one thing no one can ever count on is the Darcy Lewis factor. It was Darcy who came across Maria in the medical wing, but Phil has a feeling that Melinda helped lead her there. Melinda had never agreed to keeping the Avengers in the dark- something that she wouldn’t have expected from him given his distaste for secrets. But Darcy had called Jane, who then told Natasha, and faster than his brain could process, Thor had a hand around his throat. Phil didn’t care what Melinda or Skye thought, having Thor’s fingers around his throat, the man’s arms still weren’t dreamy. Natasha had left Thor to deal with Phil as she followed Jane to Maria’s room. Tony and the others followed close behind but not before making it clear that they would do nothing to stop Thor. 

What Phil Coulson never seemed to understand was that he was not Nick Fury. When Nick had used Phil’s trading cards to motivate the Avengers in the battle for New York, yes he had altered the facts somewhat, but the main motivator had been the fact that Phil was dead. At that point it was still true, measures to bring him back hadn’t even begun. While Fury had backed the action, reviving Phil had been under Alexander Pierce’s orders, undoubtably to see if it could be used for HYDRA agents. 

Maria had been put into a coma by taking care of something that Phil had found himself to busy for - an attempt at negotiation. While the idea itself was laughable, it had been a chance to evaluate their enemy and stall for time. Instead the HYDRA creation had taken offense at Phil not keeping his agreement and had stepped up their fury due to the insult. The first blow being hurling Maria out of a six story window. 

Had he bothered to seek Maria’s advice rather than sending her in blind, she would have told him that whether it be with political officials or aliens, being passed off would not be well received. Something that Natasha knows as well and has her fuming as she sits by Maria’s bedside. 

But right now all they can do is wait.


	2. Inquiries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How does one go about asking a former superior officer / friend / semi-boss out? Inquiring minds want to know.

The sheer number of people asking her this question without any hint of teasing is annoying Natasha. How the hell should she know? She’s had multiple dinners with Maria, yes. But that’s mostly due to Natasha getting to the point in the evening where she realizes she hasn’t eaten yet and after calling Stark Industries and finding out that Maria was still in her office, she simply figured that she’d forgotten to eat too. Which was usually the case. 

But that was all. 

Or at least, that’s what Natasha had been telling herself because until the inquiries started she hadn’t been aware they could be construed as dates. Simply a well known fact that people needed to eat and that the experience might be more enjoyable with company. 

However, her explanation didn’t stop the messages being left on her phone. The teasing ones left by Darcy Lewis, the desperate ones left by Skye, the fumbling ones left by Jemma. Honestly, Natasha had never been so popular when it came to something not work related or someone expressing interest in her. But she still had no answers. 

She was tempted to forward the messages to Maria and let her deal with them, but of course that meant opening herself to the possibility of being let down gently if Maria didn’t share her feelings. The feelings that Natasha would never admit to having but everyone seemed to know of anyway. 

Seeing as how everyone had suddenly found her relationship with Maria so interesting, perhaps they should continue to scrutinize her association with the other woman. 

On the off chance they discover the answer to their question, perhaps they’d be kind enough to let her know too.


	3. Escape to the Drink Stash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody ever figured Natasha to be the jealous type.

If Natasha hadn’t been so consumed with feelings of jealousy, she might have noticed how very unenthusiastic Maria was about the whole situation. Maria supposed some would call Gregory ruggedly handsome, but he reminded her of Dylan McDermott. 

But Natasha doesn’t see that. No, she was paying attention to how many times he leaned close to whisper something to Maria, how many times he touched her arm to get her attention, and the three times he went ahead and let his hand rest at the small of Maria’s back. 

It nearly has her seething. Because this black tie event has so many political officials present, she leaving her gun in her thigh holster, but the small fork that was given to her with her small slice of cake will do more than enough damage if he doesn’t find himself across the room and fast.

What ever …. she’ll use the term scent in a purely scientific sense, that Gregory is wearing he clearly bathed in. Or was assaulted with in the mall intentionally before showing up here. It’s making her light headed in a bad way. Like a person who douses themselves in perfume before hitting the gym. It reeks. Scanning the room once again for a possible escape plan, she spots Natasha. She seems to be pouting and has Bruce’s hand on her waist. It puts a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. 

"You promised no maiming" reminds Bruce. 

"I didn’t know she’d be being touched by a parasite and walking STD" grumbles Natasha, causing Bruce to choke on his drink. He darts his eyes over to meet Natasha. "Tell me I’m wrong" she argues. He looks over to Maria where she’s doing a pathetic job of containing her wince in the man’s presence. The smiles she’s offering people are more of a grimace and the twitch in her wrist tells Bruce she’s this close to snapping the man’s arm if he doesn’t remove it. 

"Go rescue her before we have mass casualties between the two of you" he murmurs in her ear before gently nudging her in Maria’s direction. 

"Hey you" says Natasha as she sets her hands around Maria’s waist and leans in for a kiss in greeting. She lets her lips graze Maria’s instead of her cheek and linger for a moment longer. An actual smile spreads across Maria’s face and she lets her arm encircle Natasha’s waist. 

"I’ve missed you all night" says Maria as she leads them away from the man who is still wondering what just happened. 

"I thought you were here with Bruce" admits Maria quietly and somewhat timidly. 

"Nah. He was just trying to limit bloodshed. Once he saw that you were going to kill that guy anyway, he didn’t see any reason to hold me back anymore" explains Natasha, leaning closer into Maria’s side. 

"Ah. Well, I’ll have to thank him for that then. Maybe help keep Tony out of his lab for a week or so" says Maria off hand as she takes in the terrace. 

"Are you thinking about going somewhere for a real drink? Because I’m in but my stash is empty" comments Natasha. 

"Good thing mine isn’t then" says Maria as the two of them head for the exit.


	4. Troublesome Crushes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It never ends well for agents who crush on the Black Widow. So Maria does her best to cram it into a tiny box, wrap it in chains, and ignore it.

Maria has seen Natasha devastate and crush hearts in person so she knows her crush is not only doomed, but stupid. Maria’s seen the instances where Natasha let’s the likes of Leo Fitz down gently and when she makes it clear to the likes of Jasper Sitwell that she wouldn’t even if continuing the human race depended on it, and that was just for coffee. Having seen both, Maria knew she didn’t want to be on the receiving end of either.

Which was why despite the fact that Natasha was flirting with her and finding ridiculous reasons to take Maria places, Maria’s brain wouldn’t entertain the possibility that she was being pursued.

Because searching New York for the best gyro place was totally something that Natasha would spend her free time searching for on foot rather than reading online reviews. Oh and need Maria’s assistance for.

However, Natasha wiping tzatziki sauce from the corner of Maria’s mouth made her sunken and buried feelings of attraction buoy to the surface again.

This won’t be easy.


	5. Willing Target

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha's furious with herself, disgusted. Maria's in the OR fighting fo rher life while she's out here. SHe'd been utterly fucking useless. She should've seen it coming. They all should've but shes' the Black Widow, she should've known better. It was stupid of her to reveal her relationship with Maria, Maria had her fair share of threats, but not one that'd been so personal. Taking Maria as collateral, against her, and then murdering her, in front of Natasha. Except Maria didn't die, not yet.

It’s Sharon who points out that while Natasha had missed the signs, Maria hadn’t. Maria had know the risks and put herself in the enemy’s crosshairs all the same. The realization infuriates Natasha further because she should have known that too. She would have done the same for Maria but with herself as the target she would have preferred to lock up Maria in a lab with Jane and Darcy and only let her out when the coast was clear. It would have been futile, she knows this, but it would have made her feel better for a moment. Knowing the three of them, Jane would open a wormhole that put Maria right at the center of things again. Which would land them right back here waiting to hear about her surgery. 

Damn it. 

Once they had gotten Maria to the hospital, Natasha had noticed all of Maria’s blood. It coated her suit front but the blood that had caught her attention was the blood splatter on her neck from when they’d shot Maria. There hadn’t been anything she could do. She was being pinned by six operatives when the bullet tore through Maria but their eyes had held each other’s and at the sound of the gunshot, even if she hadn’t been confined her blood went cold and she wasn’t sure she could have moved anyway. She surprised herself though because the hands holding her were gone and she caught Maria before she hit the floor. 

At the sight of the blood she rushes to the bathrooms. If anyone had a problem with it, they stayed silent, since no one tried to throw the Black Widow out. Sharon Carter and Bobbi Morse had dragged Natasha from the sink that was pouring scalding water as Natasha tried to scrub the blood from her skin. While she wanted Maria close, the reminder that she was responsible for her current battle for life wasn’t what she had in mind. Sharon had called Pepper to run and and pick up Natasha’s spare bag from Maria’s office. Natasha had her suit top in the sink next to her in cold water and was standing in her undershirt nearly scrubbing her skin raw to get rid of the blood while tears of panic and anxiety finally began to fall. 

Once Sharon and Bobbi had gotten her from the bathroom, Natasha collapsed into the chairs where she leaned heavily onto Sharon until she overheard Coulson utter the words “collateral damage” to Steve and Clint. The Black Widow had a bloodthirsty reputation but since she’d come to work for SHIELD, that’s all it had been - a past reputation. The ferocity with which she went after Phil brought those all tales to the fore front of everyone’s mind as they tried to pull her off the man. There would be very clear hand prints around his neck the following day in addition to the heavy bruising around his nose and left eye. 

When they got word that Maria was stable, nothing was going to keep Natasha from her room. Sharon and Pepper made sure to take care of Natasha and made sure she ate and slept while at her post at Maria’s bedside. Bobbi screened any visitors and either personally sent away those there to cause trouble or let Clint have some fun and blow off steam. Tony and Bruce had supervised the surgery and were going over every step of Maria’s recovery themselves, not letting her life be left in the hands of just anyone. Truthfully, the doctors knew what they were doing and were good at their jobs but Bruce and Tony needed something to keep them calm and feel like they were doing something. 

When Maria finally did wake up, there was a shared relief but also an increase in the hounding from the press. Bruce took care of that by announcing that he would act as the spokes person, but it was a very stressful time for all of the Avengers and…well the additional stress from the media was not helping things and putting The Big Guy at unease. The reporters stopped flocking the hospital after that. 

Maria watched Natasha sleep soundly for the first time in days. She wouldn’t have changed anything except for possibly the amount of torment Natasha had gone through while her life was at odds, but Natasha was worth it.


	6. Innovation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some call Maria Hill's fighting style innovative, others brutal. Natasha sees it for what it is, efficient, and she knows exactly who she learned it from.

Natasha has also seen Sharon Carter fight as well. Surprisingly, there is some overlap when it comes to methods but not so much when it comes to style. Natasha knows of Maria’s childhood. How she mostly had to look after herself and how Peggy had found her and helped train her and turn her into a fighter physically. Maria’s always been a fighter, she had just been used to using her wits to out think her enemies. You couldn’t be a successful fighter if you were only good at one side of things. Fights were both mental and physical and only half didn’t cut it. 

Sharon was a more compact fighter. A jack in the box type fighter that always surprised and that was hard to anticipate. One thing they both shared was the ability to make quick evaluations of a situation and react quickly and with confidence in their actions. They could roll with being thrown for a loop. 

But Maria had grown up with so much uncertainty where as Sharon had a clear goal of wanting to be like her Aunt Peggy. It was an odd concept for Natasha at first. She wasn’t sure how to address it. She was used to encountering marks with a similar history and using it against people but as someone trying to relate, she couldn’t. 

Natasha had grown up in Red Room, and while they weren’t what anyone would call supportive parents, at least they had been a guiding hand of sorts. The other girls had at least been going through it all with her. Maria had been utterly alone. But from that experience and her familiarity with various wounds, Maria became resourceful. She learned to try be ready for anything. She also leaned that anything could be turned into a weapon. 

Mental warfare could be just as damaging as physical and Maria knew how to wait things out. She waited and then didn’t attack with a one two punch but with a full force blow that resulted in devastating damage. 

There were those that would try and use her personal history against her, but it only made her who she was, the unpredictable woman with something always up her sleeve. Because it was the only way she knew how to get by and to that Natasha could relate. 

Natasha remembers Peggy Carter too though. Peggy attacked with a focus and ferociousness. A complete dedication to her job. But it wasn’t as if Maria was some sort of carbon copy. Not even Sharon was. They admired Peggy, but after Steve was lost, Peggy threw herself into her job and hoped to fill the gap in her life there. Things were progressing or at least so people said, but while Maria was second in command there were still rumors that she slept her way there and that Sharon had acquired her position and status as a superior agent due to being a legacy and not on merit. Things had been no different for Peggy, despite being the one that Steve had relied on and someone Howard Stark trusted. While Peggy had made friends and gotten married and carried on with her life, there was something that seemed to be missing. A spark that was once there. SHIELD certainly took it’s toll. But, one thing she seemed to make sure to pass on to her niece and adopted member of family was the importance of something outside of work. 

It was forgotten lesson for sometime by both women, but then Sharon and her brother and Maria were finally stationed in the same city. And Natasha started spending time with Maria. At first they went on runs together or sparred but then it turned into coffee dates and dinners. 

Maria’s fighting style is innovative because it lets her be efficient at work but also fight off her demons and keep them from dragging her down without as much effort anymore. For that Natasha is envious but Maria’s teaching her now too. She teaches Maria a thing or two as well, but Maria was taught well and learns fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *don’t know where my head went with this one—-headache with an argument combo gets you semi detached rambles.


	7. Many Hats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Often times Natasha can shed cover personas like they were clothes, but sometimes they stick to her and she can't get them out of her head. Maria waits with her on those days, waits for her Natasha to come back.

She’s not a lost sheep. She hasn’t been since she’s been with Maria. It doesn’t mean she hasn’t had to play as one every once and a while. The ruthless criminal mastermind or mob boss was also a hat for her to put on sometimes while undercover. The callous woman behind things and the one who appeared for only face to face deals. 

Except it’s those that require little acting and are harder to shed. Natasha has always been pragmatic and rational, leaving little room for emotion to cloud her judgement. For years, she had operated this way since it was the method that was most likely to keep her alive. But she remembered the faces of those she’d killed. Each one was a mark in her mental ledger. There were times where having to put on a persona felt too comfortable. There was an ease that she fell into that now made her feel ill. The feeling of slipping into what felt like a well worn pair of pajamas now made her remember how much bloodshed was associated with that role and how that although it felt so tempting to resume that way of life, she was somewhat horrified at how easily it had been and how quickly her mind thought it was an actual option. 

But Maria was there for her when that happened. Maria was a Commander, second in command in fact, but was one of the few who knew the tolls of her job and the lingering doubts that came with it. But her presence was all that was needed to sooth her old demons away. When she was with Maria, going on the missions that she assigned and following her orders, the doubts as to the good she was doing faded. Maria was thorough and only acted in ways that attempted to minimize bloodshed and risk. 

Maria doesn’t press her for details or to talk or try and coax her from her funk. She offers her support silently and holds her when her memories overwhelm her and makes sure to take care of her with food and other comforts while Natasha comes back to herself. It’s becoming easier to do so, and she feels that’s largely do to Maria.


	8. It Was Just A Question!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharon Carter punches like a train, just like her aunt. Natasha's sporting a bruised jaw and a whole lot of confusion. What'd she do this time? She'd only asked if Hill was single, geez!

It had become the talk of the helicarrier though. Not so much what had prompted it, but the fact that Sharon had slugged Natasha. Sharon refuses to tell her what it’s about so she’s off to speak to Natasha. After giving Melinda orders to take over. If she can’t be there to glare at the gossiping agents, she’ll let May do it.

Growing up with Sharon and being friends since freshman year of high school, Sharon has seen Maria be the butt of many jokes and pranks. Despite everything she’s accomplished, that reputation seemed to have followed to SHIELD, where people proved that no matter their previous job, they couldn’t contain themselves when it came to gossip.

Although, having Maria’s little sister of sorts come to her defense before she could didn’t always help things. Sharon is very much a Carter in that when it comes to her loved ones, she’ll hit them with everything she’s got.

But Maria doesn’t know any of the reasoning behind the punch so when Natasha refuses to open the door to her quarters and have the discussion face to face, she’s even more confused.

"Nothing doing" says Natasha through the door.

"Can I ask why?" inquires Maria, wondering if Natasha has simply resorted to some sort of cloak and dagger default.

"Because the people Peggy Carter trained tend to fight a lot like she did and normally I’m used to conversation turning to violence but not so much in a helicarrier mess hall" replies Natasha.

"Can we talk about that?"

"Sure"

Maria puts a hand to her head and does her best not to growl.

"Face to face?"

"Nothing doing lady. That’s what got me in this mess in the first place. Geez, all I did was ask a simple question, were you seeing anybody, and then she hit me. It should be noted that I didn’t hit her back though!!! I had every right to do so but didn’t!!!" says Natasha.

"Wait what?" asks Maria, almost positive she’d heard her wrong.

"I said I didn’t hit her-" said Natasha again.

"Not that, what you asked" corrects Maria. The door finally opens to reveal Natasha sporting an enormous bruise under her left eye that spreads down her cheek bone.

"Oh, for the love of— Damn it Sharon!" grumbles Maria as she reaches out but manages to stop her hand before it actually makes contact with Natasha’s face.

"What? This? This is just a regular Tuesday. But if I’m going to risk asking you face to face, can you at least promise not to hit me?" says Natasha. Maria blinks for a second and then finds herself answering.

"Well, you haven’t risked anything yet, but yeah I promise not to hit you" affirms Maria.

"Well, know that I’m asking without having an answer to my first question, but would you be open to having dinner with me? Something more than gyros or sandwiches. It doesn’t have to be but it would a formal date…"

"Yes" says Maria, cutting off Natasha’s adorable rambling.

"You’ll tell Sharon though, right? I don’t want to be having dinner with you only to have her pop out of no where with a wicked right hook" remarks Natasha as she leans against her door frame. This time Maria doesn’t stop her hand from rubbing across Natasha’s cheek lightly.

"Yeah, I’ll tell her."

\-----

It's later that Maria finds out that the bruising really had been from just another Tuesday.  Sharon had hit Natasha's jaw which had their first kiss being extra gentle.


	9. Candy Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> can you write a fluffy fic in which they say "i love you"?

The conversation hearts are ridiculous. Natasha can’t remember the last time she even saw a fax, so that particular message is useless this day in age. Although if she got one that said ‘sext me’ she isn’t sure whether she’d be offended or laugh. Probably the former since they’d be from either Clint or Tony. 

Still, Natasha has a weak spot for small candies and would hoard them if she could. Except it doesn’t seem she’ll need to this year. In literally every locker she has, the small boxes are pouring out the moment she opens the door. Even her weapons locker. 

None of which makes any sense since the only other person to do this is on assignment with Sharon in Uganda. Also the fact that it isn’t even February but the valentines stuff hit the shelves the day after New Years. 

Natasha catches Kevin restocking her gym locker with them and tackles him. She had spotted him skipping away from it with an empty bag in hand. 

"What’s going on Kevin?" asks Natasha, her knees pinning Maria’s little brother person to the floor. 

"Phone! Cell phone!!" says Kevin from beneath her. She hands his phone to him from his back pocket. 

"Hey. Yeah, I’ve been discovered, just like I said I would by the way" says Kevin into the phone before handing it to Natasha. 

"Hey you. I heard you called in front of the committees again today. Sorry I couldn’t be there for you but I decided to do the next best thing and leave you some of your favorites everywhere. Love you, Nat" says Maria through the phone. Natasha is just glad that she’s still siting on Kevin’s back because it means he can’t see the stupidly happy smile on her face right now. After the shitty court appearance, a scavenger hunt of sorts to find the candy heart fairy had been exactly what she needed. 

"Love you too" answers Natasha before hanging up. It says something about how Kevin grew up with Sharon and Maria, given how patiently he’s simply waiting for Natasha to let him up. 

"Just following orders and all that jazz" says Kevin. 

"Hope that’s not your excuse for everything" says Natasha letting him up. 

"It is if Maria or Sharon are the ones telling me what to do" says Kevin, dusting himself off. "I’ve got more in my backseat if you want them" he says jutting a finger behind him. 

"Gimme"


	10. Bowler Hat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natalia is the best. So she alone will stay and intercept the Americans. She will prove herself worthy. She will kill every last one of them, but first, the simpliest tactic to lure them.   
> Crying.

Quiet, quiet.

Quiet and empty.

The room normally is full of them. The chosen girls. But chosen doesn’t mean success, it only means a chance at greatness.

And this is a chance for her to prove herself. One of many, but her first solo objective

Quiet, quiet.

She must remain silent. In these halls the slightest sound carries and she’ll use that. The halls will carry her cries to the ears of the intruders but until then she must remain as quiet to hear every sound.

She knows these halls better than anyone, having lived in them for so long, but is controlling her breathing so that it’s sound doesn’t cover the footsteps coming down the corridor.

She waits until they’re near the door to start crying softly, knowing the corridors echo and it’ll be hard to miss. American children are helpless, needing signs and instruction constantly otherwise they might choke or stumble on something. Or both. Russia is all about looking out for yourself. The only guiding hand you’ll get will be the harshness of the streets or the cold in the winter leading you to a frozen end.

She hears a female voice, but the one that leans down in front of her is a large man with a funny mustache and “bowler” hat.

He asks the woman why they call it that, but she isn’t paying attention once she spots the military bars on the hat. The guns were already an indicator that the intruders were to be killed but that wasn’t her task. She was to assess and report the number of people.

He’s turned when she pulls the weapon and jams it in his chest. She feels the resistance behind it, knowing that sadly it didm’t do much harm, but she’s out numbered and they have automatic weapons. That and she hears Bowler Hat pull what sounds like a grenade. She escapes smoothly and reports back.

Perhaps they’ll meet again someday.


	11. Family Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha's always known she'd one day meet Peggy Carter face to face and not through a scope, as she did back in the 80s, but Carter was fast and it was one of the few missions Natasha's failed. She knows the stories of Carter's protectiveness over Maria, even if Carter is old and frail at the moment. What she didn't expect was another aunt, a Angela Martinelli that gives Carter a run for her money in the shovel talk.

"I know you" says the woman with grey brown hair and hazel eyes as she sits across from Natasha in the diner booth.

Natasha pauses in munching her cheeseburger and fries. A rarity for her since it’s packed with with everything imaginable and is hard to get her mouth around but totally worth it. That and the ranch fries and chocolate shake. A rare indulgence, especially since none of the guys are picking off her plate and it’s being interrupted by this woman who is giving her a serious glare.

"In what context?" asks Natasha. It seems to throw her for a loop.

"What?"

"How do you know me? From the news? The internet? Did I cause you to wreck your car when I was in a chase? Or is this personal and I harmed a relative of yours?" clarifies Natasha.

"None of the above. But if you hurt Maria, I’ll be the one hurting you” says the woman.

Oh. Well, at least Natasha knows what this is about, but she still has no idea who this person is.

"AUNT ANGIE!!!" calls Maria from the door. Both woman turn and watch Maria stride towards them and then slide in next to Natasha. "I don’t need everyone threatening Natasha! I can take care of myself you know!"

Natasha raises an eyebrow at Maria and resumes munching.

"Natasha, this Angie Martinelli, Aunt Peggy’s partner. Yes, she got married but that was for appearances more than anything, for both parties involved. Aunt Angie is the one who taught me how to cook" explains Maria. Natasha wipes at her mouth.

"Thank you for that. Although, has Maria told you about the time she set the french bread pizza on fire?" asks Natasha as she sips her shake. Maria groans and buries her face in her hands. She glares at Natasha to which Natasha simply grin back cheekily so she resorts to stealing her fries.

"No worries, Angie. But you’ll have to join the queue. Peggy, Sharon, and Steve have all warned me of various outcomes if I hurt Maria. Phil threatened to send me through a black hole, but I’ve been there and done that I think he’s just forgotten" assures Natasha as she watches Maria finish off her fries and shake.

"Would you like to join us for dinner later this week with Sharon and Peggy? A family night of sorts?" ask Natasha, causing Maria to beam at her.

"Sounds great! Just tell me when and where!"


	12. Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pull of steel against her wrist isn't there, instead it's a warm hand. Maria. Natasha turns her head, scoots closer to Maria who's still sleeping. She closes her eyes, calms her thundering heart and sleeps.

It took time to escape the sensation of a metal cuff on her skin.

It wasn’t a comfort, it was more of a familiar sensation. When they were still very little they had been cuffed to their beds. Despite that confinement, they had to be ready for anything. It was one of their first lessons.

No one would help you, you only had yourself. To survive you had to do what ever was necessary. The second lesson was to dislocate your thumb to get free.

For years she slept with her arm out stretched above her head, the practice so engrained. The blue piece of leather cord that she now wears around her left wrist serves to remind her of her connection to Maria. But it also serves to fill the void of something on her wrist. It’s odd how naked she felt without something there.

But having something there now grounds her. Having it remind her of Maria makes her feel even more secure still. The blue reminds her of Maria’s eyes but the cord reminds her that returning- coming back home- is not just a mission done successful, but that there is someone waiting for her.

Right now, it is Maria’s hand that encircles her wrist and it does not feel confining or possessive. There is a comfort in it. That even in her sleep, Maria wants to be with her, a part of her mess of a history, part of her tangled web of strings that she sometimes calls a life. And it means a lot.

Maria wears a similar leather cord on her wrist now and Natasha finds that curious. Maria says she wears it for the same reason, to remind herself that she has Natasha. Maria is more than rules and regulations but that’s all most people see. They see her as the handcuffs. But to Natasha she is safety and is home.


	13. Wrong Number

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘i’m drunk and sad and dialed the wrong number but you picked up and now i can’t get you out of my head’ au

Natasha doubts Commander Hill meant to call her number while drunk. Natasha is betting hers is just a number on a list that the Commander already has memorized but she also bets that the Commander has no one else to talk to. And besides, she’s finding Maria Hill interesting. 

This isn’t the Commander of SHIELD or the Second in Command on the line though. This is a drunk call from a sad and overwhelmed woman. A situation that Natasha can relate to, but she’s never had anyone to call either. 

"Things are getting harder. With Nick gone and Phil in charge I’m being left holding the bag more and more. It’s nothing I’m not used to but his actions are causing more and more violent repercussions" says Maria, her words only slightly slurred. But she sounds tired, more tired than Natasha has even had her hint at. 

"You handle Nick Fury, I can’t imagine Phil is as imaginative as Nick is" comments Natasha absently. 

"It’s not that. The public is getting more violent. The number of assassins after me is going down because our enemies are probably expecting me to die in some riot. Tony has had to lone me two cars, one after my car was blown up and a second after the first loner was as well. The Avengers all have their own troubles and I can’t juggle everything alone anymore." 

"I thought you had Sharon and Kevin?" Natasha always knew Maria had a heavy load but she felt better knowing that she had that support system going for her. 

"I told them to steer clear. The last thing I need is someone using them to find Peggy and use her to draw Steve back here" answers Maria. Natasha sighs. Looking out for everyone else, Maria has left herself alone again. 

"I- I don’t know how to do this exactly, but-" starts Natasha. There’s a sigh on the other end of the line. 

"It was just misdial, Natasha. I- I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. Just forget it" replies Maria. 

"I’m offering. Just to unload. I’ll bring tacos?" pushes Natasha. She’s not even sure why she’s doing this or why she’s hoping Maria will say yes. 

"Sure. I’ll buzz you up when you get here" says Maria. 

It’s a start.


	14. Warrior Goddess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her name is Natasha, no Natalia, Natalie - Nadia, Nastya. No. Her name is Natalia Romanova. She is the Black WIdow. She is Mother Russia's finest child. She is. No. Her name is Natasha Romanoff. Former SHIELD agent, Avenger. No. She's... she can't remember. But none of it matters, she doesn't care who she is, only that she likes who she is with that woman. THe woman who's kicked in the door, eyes like a fury, but softens when she sees her. She can be whoever she wants to as long as its by her

Her head is… well, it isn’t functioning like it should because she knows she loves this woman, but her head feels dizzy and he can’t remember her name. Although that might be due to the blood loss. 

Maria spots Natasha slumped to the side and propped against the wall. The right side of Nat’s suit looks darker and she knows that it's blood. Too much. With Natasha slumped over onto the wound she's causing it to bleed more. Maria leans her the other way but then turns back to fight when a window shatters. 

Natasha simply watches the woman as she fights. Fights for her, to get her out alive and keep her safe. Somehow, her brain still knows this is different. It's special. That the goddess Athena is fighting for her. 

She tilts her head back and shuts her eyes, but just for a moment. The wood splintered and there's a good sized chunk sticking out of her so she knows they'll need help getting her out. 

She knows that her problem used to be coming out of her personas. After the first two decades of Red Room on her tail, her covers started to mesh. It wasn't that they were hard to step out of, it just became harder to know what was real. 

But with her Athena, her warrior that looked out for her, it became easier. Athena...she knows that isn't her real name but it sounds similar. Maria, that's right. Maria. 

With Maria she can laugh. Really laugh, not a fake or forced one or even worse, one that she would use as part of a cover. With Maria she has laughed so hard that she felt light headed and her lungs hurt. She wears Maria's clothes and finds herself picking the ones that are most worn, for comfort rather than functionality. 

She dresses to impress Maria and finds that it isn't about expensive gowns or anything revealing. Maria finds it attractive when Natasha is relaxed, a simple tee and jeans are enough. Something that she didn't have to think about. In fact she finds herself doing a lot of that around Maria, not thinking. She'd never known how exhausting it was to be thinking all the time until she didn't have to anymore. 

"Nat? Nat!" calls her warrior goddess. Natasha opens her eyes but it takes more effort than it's supposed to. 

"God, Natasha, don't scare me like that"

"Sorry"

Kevin is at her other side, helping Maria lift her. They make it to the quinn jet and then are on their way back to the carrier. Maria stays by her side and holds her hand the entire way.


	15. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many people have questioned Natasha's intentions towards Maria, but this is just out of line. "Do you even know what love is?"

The statement is said by one of the government officials that Natasha is temporarily answering to. He had been asking one of the other guys what to get his girlfriend, not his wife, and she should have kept her mouth shut. But birth control really did sound like a gift that showed he cared, about her and the world’s future.

It’s only until much later that she gives the statement any real thought.

She knows that she can care about people, she cares about people. Phil’s death hit her as hard as it did the others when it happened. Steve has come to mean something to her and Pepper is a friend and she’ll only grudgingly admit to feeling something if Tony disappeared. Even Dr. Banner means something to her.  Nick obviously does and Maria goes without saying.  

They had had normal people, ordinary citizens that were kidnapped really, to teach them empathy. They’d tell them of their life stories, experiences, hardships, and the emotions that went with them and the girls would learn how to emulate it. To be more relatable.

Natasha knows enough to work people, to pull at their strings, but also to keep Clint and Steve from beating themselves up unnecessarily. But does that mean she knows anything of love?

It’s what has her constantly turning over her relationship with Maria over in her head. The few times she chooses to show her emotions she won’t allow them to be screwed with.

She knows Maria is smart. One of the reasons that not just SHIELD, but New York and other parts of the world remained standing for so long was because Maria thought in terms of the big picture. She had contingency plans for just about everything and since Natasha knew that she had headed the team that had searched for her, she betted she had more than one plan for her.

Except that Maria had proved her fears wrong every single time. Maria looks after her, always had really. But when they started going out, Maria never asked of her past, she simply helped Natasha make up for all the little things she’d missed. Some were milestones they both had missed and were now experiencing together.

Still, it proves that Maria loves her but does nothing to change the lingering worry that she still knows nothing of showing love. At best she knows kindness.

* * *

Maria comes through the door and sees Natasha deep in thought. Tossing her coat on the hook she sees the salmon fillets defrosting and the table already set. She’d heard from Kevin what had happened. Normally, he wouldn’t report that type of thing to her, but he wanted to know if he should wreck the guy’s car or if Natasha was going to go ahead and kick the guy’s ass.

"Cooking doesn’t count. Everyone needs to eat and it doesn’t take me anymore effort to cook for two" says Natasha before Maria can say anything.

"These simple tasks show that you care, Natasha, otherwise you could have eaten at a decent hour or when you first started getting hungry instead of waiting up for me. You do lots of little things. For instance, you know I like salmon better than cod, you make sure I’m comfy on my down days, and indulge me in all my childish whims that I drag you with me on" says Maria. Natasha just shrugs, but leans into Maria who is sitting next to her now.

She still isn’t sure but what Maria says gives her hope and she’ll continue to try and allow herself to believe that she can love.


	16. Tracking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barton may have been the one to bring in Romanoff, but it was due to Hill's intel that got him the closets they'd ever been to her. Hill figures out how Romanoff thinks, and that's unsettling to the great Black Widow.

Natasha knows who just gave her away _this_ time.

The culprit is looking for a scratch under her chin and pressing her paws onto Natasha’s chest, just this side of the rules. 

"Some stealthy spy cat _you_ are” mutters Natasha as she gives in. They both hear Maria’s footsteps approaching.

"This time you tracked the cat, how’d you do it before?" asks Natasha.

"Shouldn’t you ask Barton?" replies Maria.

"Bullshit. He’s a great hunter and shot but finding me has your fingerprints all over it" counters Natasha, but not unkindly as Maria makes herself comfortable leaning into her side. Her surrender had included tracking her down and that took careful planning and review that she is willing to bet few at SHIELD were capable of. Maybe Victoria Hand, and she may have aided Maria at some point, but Natasha had checked the records and Hand had been involved with something in China for most of the time. Meaning Maria had to be the mind at work behind her capture.

"Would you believe that part of it involved having Barton eat at a bunch of hole in the wall places? Something I think only adds to his love of burgers. You always want something more than just passable food before a job. Can’t take a chance of blowing it due to something simple like food poisoning, can we? It also makes it harder for someone to get at your food since it’d be harder to place where you’d be eating.

Then there’s the crowd element. Whether you’re working from a nest like Barton, or close contact, you like to be able to blend in fast afterwards if necessary, the larger the crowd the better. That’s how we lost you in Spain, with the street festival.

And then there’s how you use the local trade. There’s always something illegal going on at every corner of the earth, so you use the locals that are keeping eyes out for police to your advantage” explains Maria. She isn’t quite ticking the points off on her fingers, but she still remembers them off the top of her head. Undoubtably, from having to prove that she know what she was talking about to her bosses over and over again before finally getting a meeting with Nick.

For some reason, it makes her feel better knowing that it was Maria. For one it means her skills were still sharp. Maria has a keen eye for details and little things that others would miss. It means that her years of tradecraft haven’t slipped, she just found someone better. And for once, she doesn’t mind because Maria isn’t a threat. She’s an ally and in something she still marvels at, her lover.

The biggest comfort though is that her methods are still a mystery when it comes to Clint.

 


	17. Shock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria gets injured, shielding civilians with her body, the entire left side of her back is shredded and bleeding out. Natasha and Sharon go in to pull her out, but Maria pulls rank and makes them complete the mission. They're both extremely pissed (especially after Maria fainted when they all got to safety and Maria needed an emergency transfusion right then and there to not die). Maria doesn't regret it (if they had come in, they would've been hit)

Sharon nearly had two people to deal with at once. The moment they saw Maria had lost consciousness, Natasha nearly went catatonic.

Now that they’re waiting in the hospital, she can take the time to look back on it. It was weird. It was like seeing Natasha regress in age and also fold in on herself, all while she was standing right next to her. The fear in her face…

Maria has always been stubborn when it comes to her duty. She takes it very seriously. That’s not to say she won’t cut corners or ignore the rules entirely to get a job done every once and a while, but when it comes to her role as Commender, there is no sway. She will see that every civilian and soldier under her command is gotten to safety and those left over she’ll take kicking and screaming if need be.

She heard Natasha call her Athena. She always has been that too, even at her own expense. The state of her back looks like something out of a grotesque horror movie and the amount of blood she had lost had Sharon remembering one of her early med labs that illustrated exactly how much blood the body held. But they’re at the hospital now and Maria has been treated and is healing.

Who she’s really worried about right now is Natasha, who still hasn’t said a word.

* * *

The amount Maria has come to mean to her is like nothing she’s ever felt before. Maria had ordered them to complete the mission so they did, as quickly as possible, but when they returned Maria looked half dead and nearly was. She froze. Completely froze. Sharon had taken care of her and reminded her that Maria still needed her in order to survive, which got her moving again. But, Maria knew that too, right?

Natasha had come to SHIELD to stop running, however not everyone trusted her, but that was to be expected. Maria had trusted her once she’d come to them, that was all there was to it for her. Other handlers didn’t seem to mind putting her in danger. Danger was to be expected on the types of missions she was sent on but the handlers didn’t seem above having her walk into death traps. Maria was someone that she trusted with her life early on.

The needle hole in her arm was the way she had been able to help Maria hold on until they reached the hospital where they had more blood on hand. Maria had provided her with the stability she’d needed after SHIELD’s fall, she’d taken in both her and Liho and had reminded them that they had made a place here. Well, Natasha had, Liho kind of just decided she had. But this was her home now and she didn’t need to run. Maria made her feel safe in a way that was all encompassing and that she’d never felt before.

Natasha waits by Maria’s bedside where Maria sleeps on her stomach to keep pressure off the wound on her back. The wound that Natasha hadn’t even noticed because she’d been so preoccupied by all the blood.

She’s also angry beyond reason. Maria had to know that them leaving her there left the possibility of her dying to be more likely. But she’d pulled rank, and ordered them to complete their mission. Natasha was willing to bet Maria didn’t know the true depth of her feelings for her, especially since she’d only figured it out herself, but Sharon was practically her sister! She had to know that her death would devastate Sharon, not to mention the rest of the Carter family. But Maria means a great deal to her, and she knows that without a great deal of introspection. She wants to shake Maria awake and yell at her, but also make sure she is comfortable and never in the vicinity of falling buildings. But Maria would never stand for that, just like she wouldn’t, but she’d at least plead for her to take it easier for a bit. Sharon and her brother would undoubtably play a role in seeing that she actually did, and that helped her relax some.

Right now though, Maria still needed to wake up first.


	18. Sandwiches and Weird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha is not fine. HYDRA has been experimenting with Red Room data and Natasha was hit.

Kevin knew it was bad the moment he looked up. He’s been part of Maria’s field teams ever since they were still in the Army. He’s already thrown his medic bag over by Natasha’s side among the debris when Maria calls out to check if everyone is alright. Steve calls out yes but Kevin counters with no. The rebar through Natasha’s thigh is only one of the things that has her pinned. The rubble is concealing her leg which is turned at an odd angle sideways.

Kevin already has an IV in and is checking the rest of her and the surrounding area to make sure that they aren’t in danger of a further collapse. He applies a tourniquet before letting Rogers remove the rubble carefully. It’s in the chopper that he realizes that Natasha’s lesser wounds haven’t healed like they normally would have by now and her blood isn’t clotting as quickly as it should.

* * *

Kevin’s never had a good poker face when playing against her, and that’s how Maria knows something is wrong. When they get to the medical ward and are wheeling Natasha away from her and through the doors, Kevin’s telling the other doctors everything but still trying to stop the bleeding.

He comes back about five minutes later, having done his best to wash up. Kevin has always been there for Maria when she’s needed him, his own little awkward way. For instance, hours later, he’s still sitting next to her but is eating a large sub sandwich and there’s one sitting on the seat next to her as well.

She hasn’t really noticed however. Kevin has told her all he can and now she’s simply thinking about the mission. Some industrial building, that’s where the last legs of the battle had taken place. Steve and Natasha had been behind her along with Kevin, Bobbi, Hunter, and Skye. Everyone on Phil’s team is fine. Maria knows that had…whatever had hit Natasha, hit any of the rest of them, they never would have made it back to base.

Natasha is stabilized and moved into a room of her own but Maria can’t bring herself to go in yet. So she hovers at the door. If Natasha was awake she’d be by her side, but with her out of it Maria feels out of place.

She wants Nat to wake up and smirk at her. Tell her she can’t get rid of her that easily. She wants to go out and kill the ones who shot Natasha, but without a plan or even a set target, it’d be too reckless and she’d probably wind up in a bed in the room next to Natasha. She can already envision Natasha using a cane or something to bang against the wall to annoy her in retribution for being so stupid. The image makes her smile but it’s wiped away at the sight of the still sleeping assassin as she paces by the door again.

She’s a Commander and she’s always taken care of her soldiers, but Natasha is more than that. She’s also an operative and an Avenger but she is also Maria’s friend and one of the few people aside from Sharon and Kevin that she trusts without question. Sharon’s ordered her to sit and eat something so she’s finally in the chair next to the bed.

"You’re being weird" says Kevin from the doorway.

"What?"

"That’s what she’s going to say when she wakes up, you know"

"How would you know? And is that another sandwich?"

"My metabolism is my super power"

"Among other things, like your hard head"

"Your sandwich isn’t being eaten or stolen by me and is how she’s going to know, by the way" says Kevin around a mouthful of Italian on wheat.

While Steve likes to be everyone’s big brother, Kevin is hers and Sharon’s. Eating doesn’t really help, if anything it feels like she’s creating an additional lump in her stomach but she knows that she needs to keep her strength up.

"So are you just going to lurk there in the doorway?" asks Maria as she munches.

"Sure, why not? If you don’t finish yours, I’ll eat it. Plus, I like Nat" says Kevin as he licks his fingers and rubs them on his pants before going for the hand sanitizer on the wall.

"You two hangout?"

"I helped her arrange her visits to the children’s ward. And then there’s the bar" answers Kevin with a shrug. The Firecracker Lounge is somewhat of a family bar belonging to one of their cousins but a hangout that they like. It’s away from all their usual stuff. The news, SHIELD, HYDRA, politics, secrets. All of that is left behind and the bar is a place more of family. Which half of is Irish and it being a bar, has led to some of the best bar brawls Natasha has been in outside of Ireland. Or so she’d tell you if she was awake.

Hours later, Maria groggily raises her head.

She feels like she’s being watched.

"You’re being weird" says a voice from the bed.


	19. First Body

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharon and Kevin’s first body was Maria’s fault

Sharon and Kevin were waiting for Maria since they always did their homework together after school. While they waited they got into a quick game of street hockey with Sharon trying to score while Kevin was acting as goalie.

After a particularly hard hit, the ball strikes Kevin’s stick and flies over and hits the temple of a guy that was just starting to cross the street. The guy is dressed casual but the gun in his waistband slips free when he falls and smacks his head against the curb. Hard.

Maria walks up and the gun skids to a stop against her sneakers while she watches the blood pool under his head. Normally, a fall off a curb wouldn’t kill you, but this was off and into a storm drain which meant the area in front was sometimes as deep as any good New York pot hole. The man was dead. Not they’re fault exactly, but the gun made things a bit difficult.

Again, this never would have happened if Maria hadn’t been late. Probably.

* * *

The idea of hiding the body in a dumpster was an actual plan for all of 0.02 seconds. Once that was rejected, Sharon ran off and called Angie, she and Maria having decided that it wan’t exactly going to Sharon’s Mom or Aunt Peggy for help. Aunt Angie was family too, she just didn’t have the Carter evil eye to shrivel them with.

Aunt Angie took one look at the body in the back alley and nodded her head.

"I used to work at a diner. It’s still there and they’ve probably upgraded it since then. He should fit in one of their ovens. I think he’ll probably fit in my old costume trunk. Wait here, I’m come back with my brother’s van and the trunk.

Maria and Sharon watch Aunt Angie drive off and wonder if they should have just suffered through the Carter evil eye. The Donnelly side of family was well acquainted will law enforcement, both serving on the force and serving time, and frankly, with what Angie had in mind, Sharon knew where they’d probably end up.

* * *

When Angie returns, she has her trunk with her. Maria helps shove Kevin into the dumpster to get the body back out. Once they do, Kevin helps line the trunk with plastic.

That’s when Peggy drives up.

"What is going on here!"

Sharon, Kevin, and Maria are hoping if they don’t move, Aunt Peggy can’t see them. It’s then that Maria remembers the gun.

"He had this gun on him" says Maria as she carefully hands over the weapon to Aunt Peggy. Peggy cuts her eyes over to Angie who is shaking her head.

"Now that, I did not know about!"

"But when it comes to getting rid of a dead body, you’re all for it?" asks Peggy as she crosses her arms.

"It needed to be done! And the dumpster isn’t going to work. Would you suggest they take the ferry? All four of them?" asks Angie, meeting Peggy’s cross look with one of her own.

"I would assume they would have enough sense to come to a SHIELD agent for help when it comes to body disposal!" says Peggy, her pointed look going avoided.

"And my know how from growing up in a mob family doesn’t count for something?" asks Angie.

"Mob family?" echoes Maria and Sharon. Kevin, meanwhile, finally settles onto the trunk lid, having managed to fit the body inside with Maria and Sharon’s help. It still smells of moth balls so at least that will cover the rotting smell.

The three of them heave the trunk into the back of the van while Angie and Peggy continue to argue. Once the van’s doors were closed, Peggy sighs and climbs in the passenger side while Angie hops in the driver’s seat and that’s the last they see of the body.

* * *

Later, it’s revealed that the man had been an enemy of SHIELD and had either been after Peggy or more likely after Sharon and Kevin to get to Peggy. The siblings still feel guilty even if it had been more or less an accident, but less so knowing that he’d probably meant them harm. Although, it’s not like Peggy and Angie hadn’t taught them self defense and they had hockey sticks at the time. Then Maria had turned up so, they would have out numbered him even though he had a gun and Maria had the element of surprise.

But again, it probably never would have happened if Maria had gotten there sooner. They would have already been off studying.

That’s still the story they stuck with and what they tell Natasha years later when they recount the story. Maria just rolls her eyes and shakes her head with a smile and burrows her warm face in Natasha’s shoulder as the red head laughs. It was sort of her fault. She was half Canadian and had been the one to teach them how to play hockey properly after all.


	20. Yetis Make Soup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha may have a crush on Maria. But that's ridiculous, Natasha doesn't have crushes. So ridiculous that even if Clint does dare her to ask Maria out, it's not a big deal if she gets rejected because Natasha Romanoff DOES NOT have a crush on Maria Hill.

This isn’t the sort of thing she should be trying to sort out with a head cold. Especially, since her thoughts are just getting more muddled instead of clearer.

It’s Bucky’s fault by the way. He just had to pop up on her mission. Again. The mission itself had been over but his sudden appearance had sent her stumbling backward as she tried to keep from hitting him and caused her to not only twist her ankle before rolling down the hill but also face planting into a pile of snow.

He could shove his good intentions, as could all her exes as far as she was concerned. His constant thinking that she needed looking after or keeping an eye on her had gotten to be more than annoying and showed that he didn’t trust her. She’d taken care of herself for years before meeting him and would continue to do so even without his protective presence.

So here she sits on her couch, bundled in blankets and too tired to get up and replace her now cool cup of tea. Thankfully, she’s at least fully stocked on supplies this time. She has all the ramen noodles and tea she could need. Very lucky considering the extra four to five inches of snow they got today on top of the three to four that were already there yesterday.

There’s someone at her door.   
Oh my god it’s a Yeti. That’s the only thing that would be out in all this.   
Or Barnes, and if it’s him, she’ll shoot him. Just wing him. 

No, it’s Maria Hill, the very person of her thoughts.

"Whud are yoo doing ere?" asks Natasha as the woman lets herself in. She has bags with her.

"I was getting food and this is as far as I can get" says Maria as she collapses onto the couch next to her.

"Subway shut down?"

"No, but the snow is too deep and without some sort of threat to my life, this is as far as I can make my body go. I also thought I’d check in on you and bring you some actual food" says Maria as she turns to look at her.

"I habe food!" argues Natasha.

"Food that isn’t instant" counters Maria.

Oh. Well, if you had to split hairs like that. Natasha does everything in her power not to jump when Maria puts her hand on her forehead. Stupid Clint! She doesn’t have a crush! That’s just silly! But her face is getting redder and it has nothing to do with her fever.

"Still warm. I’m going to get you a cup of tea that is still hot and doesn’t have dust motes floating in it and make you some real soup" says Maria getting up and taking her mug.

"I habe soup!" says Natasha, unable to untangle herself without falling off the couch.

"That isn’t in a styrofoam container! Are you okay?"

"Yes" mumbles Nat. Maria makes her put some chest rub on and her nasal passages clear up like magic. Combined with a fresh cup of tea, she feels almost human again. She sits on a stool and watches Maria cut up celery and carrots and other veggies and put them in her pot for chicken soup.

None of this is doing anything to help her nonexistent crush.

"Why are you doing all this?" asks Nat.

"Because you take care of yourself with supplies from a gas station. And I care about you. Also to foster some good will, since there is no way I’m getting back to my place with the streets the way they are and I’m hoping I can stay on your couch" says Maria with a smile as she stirs.

She doesn’t feel butterflies. She does not! Except she does. Damn it, Clint!

"My biohazards couch? No. I have a guest room. I’d offer you mine but that’s probably equally deadly at this point. I’ll be fine on the couch."

"No, I’ll change the sheets in your room, and then you can sleep there after some soup. The guest room is fine" says Maria, setting a bowl in front of her.

Maria tucks her in later and she must be delirious because she says “We should go on a date when I’m better” and she hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

"When you’re better, I’m all for it" says Maria as she leaves her bedroom door open a crack.

* * *

It wasn’t an elaborate hallucination, Maria is still there in the morning and her bed head is adorable. Natasha aims to get better as fast as possible and not tell Clint a thing.


	21. To Each Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A redo of a prompt of person A finding person B after they've been tortured
> 
> "Don't touch me"

“ _ **Don’t touch me!**_ " screams Natasha as she scrambles backwards. Maria falters for a second before approaching her again.

"Natasha, it’s me, you’re safe now" whispers Maria.

Phil had been confident that Natasha would find her way back as she always did, and normally Maria would share his optimism, but Red Room had come to light again some time after HYDRA’s reappearance but had been much quieter about it. It had started an argument about how Maria was no longer Second in Command and was letting her emotions cloud her judgement. Maria had been too worked up to argue and it would have turned physical if it hadn’t been for Steve and Clint.

Clint was on the team to retrieve Natasha without question and so was Sharon. Steve wanted more information before they dove in head first, but there wasn’t time, especially since Maria was prepping the jet for take off.

* * *

Finding Natasha had been a debacle but once Maria had seen Natasha’s crumpled form in one of the locked cells, Clint’s shouts at her to wait fell on deaf ears. She shot through the lock before she actually reached the door and it let her race right through and fall in front of her lover.

Natasha looked like Red Room had worked her over using it’s harshest methods. From top to bottom she seemed to radiate pain and seep blood, some places having scabbed over while others were still too fresh.

« _I will tell you **nothing**_! _I have a home and a family now that is not Red Room! **I am not yours!**_ » Maria does her best not flinch at the fierceness in Natasha’s voice. She has no doubt that Natasha will kill her to prove her point unless she can prove who she is.

"Natasha, it’s m-" she barely avoids the blow.

« _Enough mind games!_ » rages Natasha. Maria doesn’t know what to do. Natasha would, but Maria has never seen her this….fractured…this broken. Clint and Steve are with her now, Clint poised with bow aimed at the doorway.

"Maria, we have to go!" calls Steve as he reaches for Natasha.

"Stop! She doesn’t know it’s us!" shouts Maria, never taking her eyes off Natasha, who has huddled herself tighter.

"They’re rearming not waiting politely! We have to go now!" says Steve as he reaches for her again.

" _Don’t you touch her!_ " shouts Maria as she shoves him back, much to his shock. The gunfire has returned and is close. "I won’t have you further traumatize her while we rescue her!" hisses Maria. It’s Clint that notices that Maria’s defense of her has caught Natasha’s notice.

"Maria?"

" _What!_ " snaps Maria.   
Until it registers who asked.  
"Natasha? We’re here to take you home. Liho is shedding all over your pillow without you there to stop her, you know" says Maria gently. Natasha hesitantly, tentatively, reaches out and takes Maria’s hand. Once she knows that Maria is real, she let’s Maria support her weight and they slowly make their way out. Maria resorts to carrying her and while Natasha would normally protest, she simply curls and makes herself smaller against Maria’s chest. She doesn’t even make a witty comment when Sharon throws Maria a worried glance as they exit the building complex.

Once on the jet, she allows herself to be looked over by Simmons but refuses to let Maria go, not that she minds. Maria has a sick feeling in her gut, having talked with Clint about being unmade and having Natasha tell her about her experiences before.

Phil had said that her assassin would come back to her, but he didn’t understand. Natasha wasn’t a possession. She had been that for far to long and had come to SHIELD to willingly become a possession, a tool, yet again. That’s not how it was between them though. If Natasha was anything she was her sense of home, a sense of freedom that she rarely had a chance to experience or let herself have. For Natasha she was the same. Which was why despite the fact that she lost feeling in her hand about half an hour ago, Maria doesn’t mind. Red Room hurt her, hurt them both in a way, but the scars, both mental and physical, would take time to heal and Maria would be there for that. Should Clint and the others go and level the entire structure with Bruce, Tony, and Thor, Maria wouldn’t argue, but she didn’t care either. Her only concern was the woman who continued to stare at her, blinking only when she absolutely had to, as if Maria might disappear while her eyes were shut. Natasha was safe but Maria would make sure that she felt like she was truly home as soon as all her wounds were bandaged.


	22. Detective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Detective Maria Hill. That is all.

Natasha has been watching in between missions. As she goes to and from the jets, fully geared up, she first spots her. She heard from Clint that Maria’s doing some undercover thing as a detective.

She’d spotted the first pant suit three days ago. Just a quick glimpse, but she saw a tie that day. There must have been someone to impress that day and Natasha is mildly pissed it wasn’t her. Part of her also wants to buy her a fedora.

Since then she’s also spotted a shoulder holster. Now, in her experience and with her job, Natasha has worn many holsters. However, that one fits Maria very well. This is one of the rare times that Natasha doesn’t hack the files and find out what the mission is. She doesn’t care what the reason is, only that Maria looks really sexy as a plain clothes detective and it’s distracting. Steve had to nudge her to get her going on up the jet ramp.

But what has her most concerned is the sweat stains under Maria’s arms and the mud stains on her shins. Natasha knows better than to be too concerned, but she bullies a soldier into getting Maria’s usual sandwich order delivered to her desk.

Later, she plans on taking full advantage of that white button up. When they both get a free moment. Maria is the one who comes and finds her, when it’s raining outside. Her over coat took most of the storm, but her hair is still wet when Natasha runs her fingers through it as she kisses her.

"Off the clock finally?" asks Natasha.

"For good. I can go back to my field suits again" says Maria with a sigh, resting her forehead on Natasha’s.

"I don’t know about that. You look good in them" says Natasha, a gentle but firm grip on Maria’s lapels, keeping her close.

"Is that so?" asks Maria turning and extending an arm toward the door.

"Nice holster too" says Nat with a smile.

"Which? Shoulder, side, or ankle?"

Natasha laughs as they make their way to the elevator, their arms entwined.


	23. Weight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't care what they say, to me, you're perfect."

Natasha can see it happening, has seen it happening, and has tried her best.  Still, it’s still happening.  Maria is losing her spark.  

Natasha was a spy, she knows how to observe but she feels guilty using her skills on her girlfriend.  After a certain point though, Natasha didn’t know what else to do.  

Thinking back, during the New York attack is when it seemed to start.  When the weight of Second in Command truly began to wear down on her.  She had seen a colleague compromised, her best friend’s dead body, and nearly lost Natasha and the others to a nuke aimed at New York.  

But Maria is SHIELD.  She had made it her home, so she simply threw herself back into her work.  They had time for each other, made time for just themselves and it wasn’t like Natasha didn’t drop in on Maria at her office, but when things were happening, Maria was totally focused.  

The fall of SHIELD had hit Maria hard and it had taken Natasha a while to see the full extent.  For her, SHIELD had been her last option and she was tired of running.  But she had always lived on the go, on the move, in motion.  So had Maria to a certain extent, but whether in the field, on a jet, on a helicarrier, or that couch in her office, SHIELD was her home.  Maria had worked through the ranks and not only gained the trust, but become the right hand to Nick Fury, a hard man to impress.  

A sleeper organization had brought SHIELD literally crashing down.  Nearly with her in one of it’s buildings, much to Natasha’s horror.  But since then, Maria had been in the court and camera’s eye, despite Stark Industries lawyers best attempts.  Maria’s record was impeccable but the press found any minor infraction it could in her entire military history.  Her SHIELD mission history was brought to light as well.  Everyone has failed missions.  Missions that weren’t anyone’s fault but went bad anyway.  It was all dragged before the cameras.  And so was her family.  What remained of her family was her father, her alcoholic and abusive father.  

Once again, Maria buried herself in her work, waiving off Pepper’s and Sharon’s concerned looks.  Which was why it was no great surprise when Natasha found Maria in her SI office that evening.  Maria is writing on her tablet as Natasha hops up and takes a seat on the edge of her desk.  

“I don’t care what they say, to me, you’re perfect” says Natasha.  It makes Maria put her stylus down.  She briefly rubs the bridge of her nose and then turns to look at Natasha.  She looks exhausted.  With her time split between Avengers affairs and SI business, Natasha isn’t surprised.  She wasn’t expecting the hug though.  Maria’s arms are suddenly wrapped around her and her face is tucked in under her chin.  

* * *

Through everything that has happened, there has only been one constant: Natasha.  

Her failures, her family, her record, none of it had gotten to her the way they had intended.  Maria had expected it.  If anything, seeing her father had only reminded her of how far she’d come, only to be once again hit with the reality of how quickly it had crumbled.  But Natasha had been there for her.  

While she no longer held the title of Second in Command officially, she was still a Commander and she had always done her job, but now the weight of it was a strain.  But Natasha brought her food or intimidated interns into delivering some to her.  She sent her odd limericks or one word texts that made Maria smile when she was feeling down.  It had been during a revenue meeting that Natasha had texted the word  _Platypus_  to her.  Nothing else.  It wasn’t a code word.  There was no context or anything, just:  _Platypus_.  Still, it had her smiling the rest of the day.  

Maria knew so long as Natasha was there, she’d be fine.  


	24. Office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Director Hill's office is not meant for this.

But then Maria has never seen Natasha in a well fitting suit before either.  

“Hey you” says Natasha as she enters, the door sliding shut behind her.  

Maria engages secure protocols just in case.  

“Hey” answers Maria as she watches Natasha make her way over.  She had been working on her tablet , but she tucks that into a desk drawer for now.  Natasha hops onto the edge of her desk and positions her legs so that Maria’s are trapped between them and then pulls her forward.  “Look for an assignment?” asks Maria, doing her best to keep the hitch out of her voice when her chair rolls forward slowly.  

“Just finished it, actually.  What do you think?”  Maria plays with the end of Nat’s tie as her eyes roam over the tailored suit that accentuates all the right places on her from her waist to hanging off her wrists and ankles just perfectly.  Maria keeps her eyes on Natasha’s as her hands ease over her shoulders to remove the jacket.  Her fingers running up under the hem of the shirt until her hands can bring her forward, closer to the edge of the desk.  

Natasha moves off entirely and straddles Maria in her chair as she begins working on the buttons on her shirt.  She groans as Maria runs her nails down her back and abandons the buttons to thread her fingers in Maria’s hair as Maria begins kissing behind her ear and working down her jaw.  

When Maria’s mouth finally meets hers, Natasha grinds her hips into Maria.  Maria rolls back and and picks Natasha up and sets her back on the desk.  Natasha moves to help Maria as she undoes the zipper to her pants, but Maria grins against her and bats her hands away and then slips her hand against her.  Natasha lets herself fall back and props herself on her arms and watches Maria but is unable to hold back her whine as Maria continues to tease her.  She tries to get her pants off and grind against Maria’s fingers but Maria moves her fingers just out of reach.  

“Maria…”

“Nope.  Not yet.  In my office knowing I couldn’t resist?”  Natasha sits up again and buries her hands in Maria’s hair again as she arches into her, biting her lip as they kiss before soothing it with her tongue.  

Getting lost in the kiss and the feel of Natasha pressed and moving against her, Maria starts moving her fingers again.  Natasha can feel her orgasm building and knows it’s going to hit her hard and falls back against the desk when she does with a silent scream.  But Maria’s fingers are replaced by her mouth and Natasha is panting and grasping for something to hold on to.  She finds the edge of the desk and the back of Maria’s head.  Soon she’s trying to push Maria away but Maria won’t let her and she’s coming a third time.  She’s in a daze and Maria is planting gentle kisses on her as she works her way up her chest to her face.  Natasha can’t do anything but hum in contentment.  

A buzzer sounds and Maria rolls her eyes and wipes at her mouth before answering her desk intercom.  

“Yes?”

“Commander, you’re needed on the bridge”

“I’ll be out in five” answers Maria before clicking off.  She carries Natasha to the couch in the small side office and tucks her in with the blanket off the back.  Giving Natasha one last kiss, she lifts the secure protocols and leaves her office.  


	25. Refund Issued

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I was hired to kill you but your'e pretty cute" au. psh that's so not au.

Contrary to popular belief and any SHIELD records, Natasha had met Maria before defecting.

Maria had been on leave from the Army. It was after her team had been killed and it was clear that she was still on the mend herself, even though she’s currently perched on a bar stool. An anonymous client wants the woman dead before SHIELD recruits her. How they know this or why SHIELD would want her is something she could find out, but it’s not her concern. It is a shame though, the woman, a Maria Hill, is pretty cute. But a job is a job.

It takes longer to get close to the mark than expected. She watched for a while as a few guys and two women tried to chat her up. All were shot down, the woman isn’t in the mood and simply doesn’t care. Natasha goes in when one guy is persistent and it looks like things might get heated. She doubts ’the rescuer’ routine will work but she can’t have her mark storming off before she finds an in.

“Some people come for the drinks and not company” says Natasha as she places herself between the two. The guy sneers at her before moving away.   
“Thanks” says Maria. Natasha merely raises her glass of vodka in a small salute as she takes drink. She doesn’t say anything else though, she helps herself to some pub mix and lets the woman go back to watching the soccer game on the wall mounted tv.

But she isn’t watching really, more like just staring at it and watching the figures move occasionally. Natasha knows the past time well. The woman looks over at her after a few moments.   
“Really? This wasn’t an attempt to be my knight?” asks Hill with a skeptical eyebrow raise and a slight smirk. Natasha puts her hands up in front of her.   
“I meant what I said. Anyway it seems you’ve got enough on your plate trying to heal. Let’s hope it’s something not nearly as pathetic as being hit by a bike messenger. Just got the cast off my wrist two days ago” says Natasha as she extends he left wrist from beneath her jacket. Faking an injury, or a healing one, is not a problem since she’s had more than enough experience with both. The woman gives her a laugh and there’s a flash of a cute smile.   
“Work, but it’s getting there” answers Hill.   
“Well, I was just about to go win some easy money from those idiots playing darts over there. Might be more fun as a team though. Split the winnings?” asks Natasha. For some reason she feels…uneasy? Nervous? And it has nothing to do with the job.   
“Even with your wrist?” dares Hill.   
“Pfft, not a problem. Ambidextrous” fires back Natasha, confidently. Hill gives her that smile again.   
“Maria.”  
“Nora.” 

* * *

  
Male egos are always easy cash. They wind up splitting $200. A group of college frat boys had ended towards the end of game two (double or nothing) and they could have made more but Maria wasn’t in any shape to have fun in the eventual brawl that would have ensued after a continued winning streak.

But Natasha had had fun. None of it had been faked enjoyment or forced laughter for once. It had ended with a shared meal from a food truck.

And for that welcome feel of normalcy and a good memory that she could relive later in her mind during her life’s more bleak moments, Natasha let her go. If SHIELD was going to pick Maria up soon, she’d be safe. She must be capable of holding her own, otherwise a local hitman would have done the trick and they wouldn’t have had to pay such a large fee for her. One she’d be returning but it was worth it.

* * *

 

Years later she meets Agent Hill at SHIELD. It turns out she was the mind at work that had managed to track her down, and for that Natasha is impressed. The folder Maria hands her contains a post it.

_Hey Nora- The pub a few streets over from the garages in three hours??? They have a dart board…._

Natasha is there five minutes early to scope out the competition.


	26. Jogging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having Steve as a friend is annoying, Natasha does not like waking up at the ass crack of dawn because someone couldn't sleep and go on a run. Especially when Steve is a jerk and keeps overtaking her. Not everyone has that variant of super soldier serum Steve. (They always end the 'race' at Maria's place, where Sam's already there too with a good breakfast).

Steve’s mad but so is Natasha.  A freaking twelve mile run before sun up and for some reason the end point is Maria’s.  

How did that even come about?  The one place that she would go and grab a shower before sneaking under the sheets has to be the finish line?  And it’s not like Maria’s ever glad to see them.  The them being Steve.  Sam’s smile and offering of fresh and still warm breakfast let’s him get away with a lot.  Maria greets them oversized shirts and sleep pants and a robe.  Something about sleeping at Stark Tower has Steve thinking this is normal, since he has no problem making himself at home for breakfast with the others at least three times a week in Maria’s small yet cozy kitchen.  

* * *

Sam had assumed that this was okay, that Steve had cleared it with the Commander.  Except as he munches on the bacon that came with his eggs, he notices how Maria’s hand settles on Natasha’s shoulder and their fingers brush as she hands her a cup of coffee.  Steve takes his coffee black, everyone knows this, but Maria’s never handed him a cup.  Uh-oh.  If he’s a third wheel, then Steve’s the oblivious fourth.  

“You know what?  Steve and I have a thing at the VA, and we gotta go” says Sam as he folds up the to go container.  Steve gives him a puzzled look as Sam all but shoves him through Maria’s front door.  

* * *

Maria manages to catch Sam loudly whispering “intruding” to Steve as they leave and a smile spreads on her face.  That should be the last of their drop in breakfast visitors.  She takes her seat next to Natasha.  Looking at her lover she reaches over and wipes away a smear of syrup from the edge of Nat’s mouth with her thumb and sucks it clean.  

“How is it that a trained assassin can’t eat pancakes without making a mess like a three year old?” asks Maria.  However, Natasha is distracted and fully focused on the thumb that Maria just had in her mouth.  

“What?” asks Natasha, once Maria Maria returns her attention to her breakfast burrito.  

“Nothing.  Just you.  That should be the last of Steve Rogers we see before six thirty in the morning, hmm?”  

“Thankfully.  It also means I can stay here rather than at the Tower in case Steve can’t sleep again.  You know he can’t sleep because he’s nervous about asking Sharon out, right?”  

“It’s not my fault Phil got her mission extended because he couldn’t foresee an obvious cock up and avoid it.  Also, is this about not telling the others?”  

“I don’t care if they know.  It actually didn’t occur to me that he  _didn’t_  know since everyone else does.  I just don’t want to seem possessive but I don’t want them barging in either.  I mean you could stay with me at the Tower” suggests Natasha.  

“I may take you up on that, and sleep overs are fun, but while I’m still getting used to working for Tony, I need my space away from him.  Bumping into him while getting cereal would just be a bit too much after a sometimes six day week” explains Maria, resting her head on the edge of the table.  Natasha makes a sound of sympathy and runs her fingers through Maria’s short hair.  

“Tell you what, how about we make this breakfast in bed” suggests Natasha.  Maria shares her grin and they take their containers to the bedroom.  


	27. Asking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So maaaaaaaaaybe this wasn't the right way to ask out Maria, especially now that Maria has her gun pointed to her.

Natasha had helped herself to a mug of tea while she waited.  Suddenly aware that a gun is pointed at her, she lurches out of her chair and into a defensive position.  Not fast enough to avoid the bullet grazing her ear.  Sloppy.  She’d been too distracted by her thoughts that she missed the door being opened.  

“What the hell!” yells Natasha as she checks the tip of her ear.  There’s a bit of blood, but at least it’s still there.  

“What the- You realize this is  _my_  apartment, right?  That usually there aren’t people waiting inside unless they’re waiting to kill you?”

“It’s me!”  

“I see that now!  Turn on a light next time or something!  Wait, what is it?  What’s wrong?  What do you need?” asks Maria as she sets her gun on the table and checks Natasha for any obvious wounds.  

“What?  Nothing!  I’m fine!  Everything is fine” assures Natasha.  Maria draws back and crosses her arms.  

“Then you broke in for tea?  It’s New York, there’s a Starbucks or other coffee shop on every other corner.”  Under Maria’s icy blue stare, Natasha is suddenly rethinking her idea.  For starters, it wasn’t all that well thought out.  That’s what she gets for letting Clint give her a pep talk.  Stupid bird.  

“Uh…I wanted to ask you something”

“Something that couldn’t wait until the morning?  Unless a carrier is falling out of the sky or a operation is in danger, it can wait” says Maria as she takes off her jacket.  Natasha averts her eyes as Maria pulls her shirt from her pants and loosens her collar.  After taking a quick look, that is.  “Well, since you’re here, have a seat while I get changed.”  

Natasha is taking the opportunity to rethink her plan.  Mainly, if she can make it out the window and far enough that Maria can’t still shoot her.  Too late, Maria comes back out in jeans and a faded green t-shirt.  “So what non-emergency has you invading my home?” asks Maria.  Natasha is a bit stuck.  Maria’s hair is down.  She’d never seen it that way before.  “Natasha!  Are you feeling okay?  Didn’t you and Barton just get back from Bolivia?  Did medical clear you?”  Without waiting for a response, Maria sighs and gently shoves Natasha into a chair and checks to see if her tea was still warm.  Seeing as how it wasn’t, she goes and fixes her another cup.  

Natasha is doing her best to get her brain to work again, but Maria in a well worn and thread bare shirt was distracting.  This was a bad idea.  A very bad idea.  

“Would you go to dinner with me?  Not like now, but at some point.  Like a date?”  Opening her mouth had only served to make things worse.  She hadn’t meant to do that.  Maria pauses her actions and looks at Natasha over her shoulder for a moment before turning back and grabbing a spoon and handing Natasha her mug.  Natasha is doing her best to give off an appearance of calm as she stirs a bit of sugar into her tea.  It doesn’t need it, but it gives her hands something to do while Maria continues to look at her having taken a seat next to her.  Their knees brush against each other under the small table.  Maria is doing her best to hold back an amused smile.  

“I’d love to.” 


	28. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hear my heartbeat? Just focus on that.” - blackhill. maria hill is on a mission that goes horribly wrong and for a while it doesn't look like she's going to make it. when she finally does and arrives back at the helicarrier, natasha is there and almost hysterical with worry. maria forgoes her own medical treatment to go to her lover to hold her and calm her and convince her shes still alive and still with her.

They won’t let her see her.  Bruce won’t let her past and it has her ready to shoot him.  Steve tells her that Maria put up a good fight.  He means to be reassuring but all she hears is the possibility that Maria can’t keep fighting.  

Apparently Maria and her team uncovered a hidden AIM lab.  Her team had been over run with AIM goons and bots, the combination being too much for Maria’s team and an over eager STRIKE team.  Maria had known the moment they entered that they were outnumbered but the team had been confident.  That’s when the bots showed up, just like Maria had a feeling they would.  Before all else, Maria is a Commander and she was going to get her people out as fast as she could, back up already sent for.  

Sharon is on one the jets that’s there to provide back up and sees Maria taking down one of the bots on her own.  Sharon and a few others provide cover fire and Maria gets the last of her agents out.  That’s when the other bot emerged and struck Maria across the chest and another blow across her back that sends her across the tunnel.  Sharon sees to it that Maria gets out and sent back to the carrier but there is so much blood.  And that’s without the wounds that she had before the robot had gotten it’s shots in.  

* * *

This was recounted to Natasha in various forms.  From Steve trying to gloss the details over, to Bruce giving her a run down of Maria’s injuries, to Sharon giving her a play by play.  At least the play by play had made her smile, Maria giving them hell.  She’d expect nothing less.  But now she waits.  And waits.  

* * *

Maria wakes slowly.  There’s something wrong.  It takes her a minute, but a check of herself shows that it isn’t her.  That’s when she spots Natasha shifting restlessly in the chair next to the bed.  She seems to be in the middle of nightmare.  Natasha is twitching and making sounds in her sleep.  Maria tries to reach her but can’t quite reach.  Sighing at all the cords holding her in place, she disconnects the heart rate monitor and a few others that are simply monitoring her.  Bruce comes rushing in but Maria glares at him and he keeps quiet.  

“Push her over this way and go” growls Maria as she scoots closer to Natasha’s side.  She still feels a bit drowsy and the pain meds are good because she doesn’t feel much more than a twinge of pain as she moves.  Bruce leaves and Maria does her best to shake Natasha awake.  Natasha comes to with a jolt and takes in her surroundings without fully processing what she was seeing.  Which is why it takes her a moment to realize that Maria is awake.  

Maria is tugging her towards her and trying to scoot back as it looks like Natasha is having a bit of an anxiety attack.  Natasha curls next to her and Maria wraps her arms around her and rubs her arm.  

“I’m okay Nat, I’m alright.  I’m right here” soothes Maria, but Natasha is still caught up in her nightmare.  “Hear my heartbeat?  Just focus on that.”  Natasha gradually calms down but then gets worked up again when she realizes she’s leaning against Maria’s chest.  

“What?  I shouldn’t be touching you, you just got out of surgery-” stammers Natasha as she tries to get back to her chair, but Maria holds on to her.  

“Just, give it a minute?  Relax, I’m going to be fine.  And this is helping me too” sighs Maria as she nuzzles against Nat’s shoulder.  Moments later, she’s asleep again, and Natasha eventually eases into a doze, but only after reconnecting Maria to the machines.  


	29. Kisses in Context

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First kiss

As a Black Widow, Natasha is used to using sex as a tool. Her first kiss with Maria Hill takes place while they’re undercover and throws Natasha for a loop.

The passing of police cars with their lights and sirens blaring has their already antsy mark looking around.  Maria takes her hand and leans over and the kiss is nothing more than a brush of lips, but it’s enough to have their mark looking away.  Maria’s good at her job and anything more than that might have gotten the mark’s attention and caused him to remember them.  At least that’s what Natasha tells herself.  The moment is filed away in Natasha’s memory but it doesn’t help with her crush.  

* * *

It’s a little over a month later when Natasha finds herself in Maria’s office.  She’s been having a bad day, one of those days where her memories are too much and overwhelm her and no amount of sparring or training seems to help.  She finds Maria in her office with a bag of salt and vinegar chips.  Maria takes one look at Natasha’s worn out form and offers her the bag.  Natasha takes it and plops down on her couch.  Maria watches her silently, taking in her exhaustion and how she finishes the bag while staring off into space.  She sets down her pen.  

“Let’s get out of here.  Go be normal people and wander aimlessly for a bit.  Dinner’s on me” says Maria.  Natasha looks up at her and sees the same kindness she’d seen when Maria looked at her over that dinner table.  It isn’t that leering look that Natasha’s used to getting.  It also isn’t pity.  Simply understanding.  

They wander the streets for a while, around the shops and cafes and just people watch.  They see parents with a toddler out for a walk, a young couple that looks to be on an awkward bad first date, a group of friends getting together for a bite.  There’s a fountain at the end of the block and they watch a bunch of teens skateboard around it.  One tries to grind on the edge and misses, tumbling in.  

They grab hoagies and it’s impossible for Natasha to eat it without getting mayo and mustard on her face and poking the contents back in.  It’s the best sandwich Natasha has had in a while and it’s fun to watch Maria who goes at her sandwich with a gusto but is having just as much trouble.  

She has fun that night.  There’s no pressure… about anything.  They don’t aim for anywhere particular and Maria asks no questions about what had been bothering her.  The night ends with a kiss much like the first but it’s Natasha who makes the move.  It’s what Natasha considers her real first kiss with Maria.  When she pulls back she sees nothing but kindness in Maria’s eyes.  Kindness and patience.  


	30. Post Budapest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barton's fam reaction to Budapest? And Hill's ofc

Natasha had gotten them home.  

Budapest had been a mess that still had Natasha smelling faintly of gun powder despite the shower she’d just had.  Sitting on the bed in the guest room on Clint’s farm was as far away from Budapest as one could get, but the events were all still too fresh in her mind.  

Phil Coulson was Clint’s “guy”.  The one he trusted to make things happen when they needed it.  That was fine, but Natasha had more faith in Maria.  Maria who had trusted her from day one.  Phil trusted her, sure, but not like Clint and Maria.  They appeared to be the only ones listening when Natasha had said things were going to get bad fast.  Something was stirring but Phil saw that as a plus, a built in distraction.  Phil had gotten them transport and tried to get them to the tarmac but it was the Commander that had a quin jet for them when that plan was literally blown to hell and adds a STRIKE team for added support.  Phil’s an easy going guy but sometimes his plans  _don’t_  work and it’s times like that where Natasha is glad that Hill and Fury listen to her.  

Red Room was gone, at least on a scale that anyone could track, but splinter groups were still going strong.  There were always those in search of power and looking to conquer.  They might not have had any “enhanced” soldiers or weapons, but they certainly had Natasha and Clint out gunned.  

The first explosion had knocked them off their feet and taken the floor out from under them.  They were nearly done with their task, retrieving documents that needed to be kept out of enemy hands. They fall through a large hole in the floor and the wall that had just been there a second ago is now missing. Clint is shouting something at her but she can’t hear him over the ringing in her ears.

They find out later it was a blast from a tank but at the moment dust is settling and books fall from above them. Natasha tries to gather her surroundings but as the sounds of gunfire is drowned out by rumbling, she lunges over and grabs Clint and races for the door. Either their cover is blown or they happen to be caught in the middle of something, but they need to get clear of it fast. The comms are down and theirs nothing but occasional feedback in her ear as they race down the hallway. The corridor seems to ripple under their feet when the next explosion hits and it sends them through a third story window. There is so much blood and Natasha’s pain receptors seem to have shut down due to being overwhelmed.

She’s dragging Clint with her, between the comms and being knocked through the floor by a bookshelf, he can’t tell which way is up. That’s when someone notices that they’re not supposed to be there and they start taking fire. Natasha really doesn’t know how they get off the grounds but when they do they’re down to knives and hand to hand combat.

The jeep that Phil directs them to is no more than twenty feet away when it gets blown up and the shock wave tosses them back. Their successful extraction has nothing to do with Phil and everything to do with Maria Hill. She’s the only one with the authority for the quin jet and strike team that get them the hell out of there. Natasha collapses on the floor of the jet and remains conscious long enough to see that Clint’s whole left side is drenched in blood, from his forehead to down to almost his shins. She blacks out as she thinks that she should have done something more.

When she wakes up in medical the first thing she sees is Fury in the chair next to her bed. “Barton is fine. He’ll be released in a few days” assures Fury before she can ask. Turns out that she’d been dragging Clint with a broken arm and wrist. She has broken ribs and a concussion and three bullet wounds but she isn’t worried, she’s always healed fast.

Clint takes her with him when he goes home to the farm. She’s met Laura before but Natasha can’t help but feel awkward. She and Clint have this understanding. He asks after her and not “of” her and never pushes. He knows she’s more than capable of dealing with things but sometimes just needs some time to figure out how. She’s to report for a few therapy sessions when they get back.

Right now though, she can’t help but wonder how close Clint came to being a mark in her ledger. Except he’d be more than that, wouldn’t he? She would have had a debt she couldn’t pay to Laura and their son Cooper and the thought of them be left without Clint makes her nauseous. Apparently Clint got his observation skills from his wife because Laura finds her after giving her some time to settle in.  

“Natasha, you brought him home and I’ll always be grateful for that-” she holds up her hand before Natasha can interject. “Home to his family. But you do know you’re part of this family too right? You have been since the first time brought you here. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you and that I’m glad you made it home too.” Laura then leaves Natasha to her thoughts.

A family. Natasha has been a part of many things. Part of Red Room, now part of SHIELD, one of their top agents in fact, but never a family. Phil gives them a wide berth for a few days after their debriefing. Fury isn’t all that pleased with him either judging by the glare he gives him. He sends Phil after some hammer to keep his agents from killing their handler.

Maria checks in on Natasha in an unofficial capacity, just to make sure she’s okay and offer herself as a person to talk to if Natasha ever wants to. She asks Clint if Maria had been asking as their Commander later. Turns out she didn’t talk to Clint at all “but it sounds like she meant it as a friend.”  She’s part of something here, she has a family and a friend.  SHIELD is the new start she’s always wanted.  


End file.
